7-video series on “What To Do When THIS Makes You Suffer”
“Hi guys, Ian here. Today, it’s a short video about what to do when we suffer on an identity level. I’m continuing my 7-video series about how to free ourselves from our lingering suffering in the seven categories of the SIMPLE7 Framework. And then, ongoing throughout the year, I’m gonna dig a little bit deeper in all those seven areas.
So, so far we did the physical suffering, where I was saying to listen to your body and then do what feels right.
And then the second one was about emotional suffering, where there I was telling you to let go to really understand what’s going on. And then if it’s happiness, if it’s sadness, if it’s anger, if it’s overwhelm, if it’s whatever, sit it in, live the emotion and then let it go.
And then today, the suffering that we can have when we have an identity crisis. It can be really small or really profound and life changing, but mainly the identity that we put on ourselves, what we tend to do is to put ourselves in a category or with an etiquette, like with a label. So for me, I’m like, I’m a public speaker, I am a spiritual warrior, I am a… It could be anything. I don’t have any kids but I could say, I am a father of two kids or something like that. So it’s all the labels that we put on us and sometimes those labels can feel limiting, they can feel like we don’t really fit into them. It can feel that our values don’t correspond to the labeling, so then we feel uncomfortable in it. And the labeling doesn’t necessarily come from us, it can be from other people around us, you know!
So it’s important to understand that as soon as we’re labeled in a certain way then, psychologically, if we don’t answer to that label, we tend to suffer because then other people will come to us and say, “Well, I thought you were something, something, and you’re not”, so some people will feel it as a rejection or as running out of love or something like that.
So there’s two parts to this equation. One part is that we have to recognize the labeling. We have to understand that if it’s a label, if it’s a sticker that we could put on our forehead, then it’s most probably limiting because we tend to, as human beings, we tend to want to respect those labelings to be a good person or to please others and to be loved and everything, so we tend to respect those labelings, but then most of the labeling comes from others, how others see us. So if we start to only play the labeling and only respect the labeling, then what happens is that we completely forget who we are. So by recognizing the labeling, that the labeling is not who we are, then the real step of freeing ourselves from our suffering can happen and can start with being ourselves.
Now, you may say, okay, that’s pretty basic. Yes. But I really like how Brendon Burchard shares it, is that, it’s most definitely common knowledge, but it’s not common practice. So to be ourselves is that to recognize the labeling and then to really come back to who we really are and to feel free with or without the labeling, to feel free in who we are. So to act as we resonate inside us for any type of subject, to have an opinion and to voice it and to feel comfortable in that.
As an example, I’m a vegan so I’m probably the only one in my family and I’m surrounded with people that eat meat, that consume dairy products and everything and every time that I come into contact with a situation like that, when I choose to not consume meat, then I have to re-identify to it. Right now it’s been 11 years, so now it’s automatic. But at first, I had to take a little second to re-identify myself, to personally relabel myself because if I chose to be a vegan within meat eaters then every time that it would come up in the conversation, then I would have to re-identify and reestablish myself as a vegan and say, “No thank you for the meat.”
If I decided that once in a while I’ll eat meat but then the rest of the time I’ll be vegan, then obviously I’m not vegan, so I have to be, even with or without the labeling, I have to be comfortable and I have to feel free within it. It took me, I would say a good two to three years, to be comfortable in that vegan labeling. And it’s my decision, it’s something that I chose for me and now I’m really comfortable in it, so there’s no questions in my mind when I see a piece of meat or anything. “Do I want it? Do I pass it?” There’s no questions now, not because I’m super concentrated or super focused but because I feel free and I’m comfortable with who I am. So either that I’m labeled a vegan or whatever, then that’s not important, the labeling is not important because I’m comfortable with who I am, so that’s what I’m sharing with you.
First, recognize the labeling, that there is a label or several labels that are projected on you and then you decide, do I accept that label? Do I refuse it? And how do I want to feel in all that?
So be yourself. If you want to express yourself like colorfully or like anything, it could be a sexual orientation or anything, be yourself fully and the more you are yourself on a daily basis, you will see that, one, you will suffer less. And two, your decisions will become way more easier. Just like me with the vegan stuff, at first, the very first few days, the decisions were hard and then it was easier and easier and then after 11 years, I don’t even think about it. Sometimes I even get caught with products, either with milk or cheese in them because I wouldn’t even think to put cheese or milk in them.
So that’s the tip for this week. The first step to relieving and freeing ourselves from our lingering identity suffering, is to recognize the label. And then the very first step is to be yourself. So I hope this serves you. Again, please feel free to put your comments in the comments below and share with me what does that bring on to you, and bring up. How about what do you feel about it? Does it make sense? And what are you thinking about different ways to labeling yourself and how free are you in those labels?
And again, if somebody you know would benefit to hear this message and do this quick exercise, then feel free to share that video with them. I wish you all the best. Namaste. And next video we’re going to talk about relationships, so take care and continue to #StopTheSuffering.”