7-video series on “What To Do When THIS Makes You Suffer”
“Hey, everybody. I am back with another video — this week is the video four of my seven video series — about what to do when THIS makes you suffer. Today is about relationships.
So, what to do when our relationships, either intimate relationships that are either family, friends, co-workers, any type of relationships, as soon as the relationship makes us suffer, there is one main message that is brought back to the surface, it’s that when you suffer in a relationship, in a particular element — because obviously the relationship is still good if it’s ongoing — so, the element that’s making you suffer is telling you that you don’t love yourself enough on that specific element.
Because you’re out of love, or you don’t love yourself, or you don’t love yourself enough, you have somewhat of a lack of love in that specific element. When you come in contact with another person and that element is brought up, then obviously you react to it, and because you’re holding on to the relationship, but that element is irritating you, then you suffer. The obvious, not so easy, but the super simple insight for that is that when you suffer for a very specific element is to give yourself some love towards that element.
So, let’s say, a quick example with your loved one, so maybe let’s take the most challenging and also the most important evolving relationship that we can have is an intimate and a couple relationship. Let’s say your partner, every time that you talk about money, the very specific element of money, then both of you get defensive, and then everybody’s suffering, and the communication is tough, and nothing good comes out of it, then you know if that’s the precise element, then you know that you need to give yourself some love on that financial level.
Some of you will be more resisting of spending money on luxury stuff. If that’s the case, then I’m not saying to blow all your money on luxury, obviously, but just give yourself more love and you need to give yourself love on that specific element to free yourself from it. It doesn’t mean that because you’re resisting spending money on luxury that now you have to let go of everything, and let your partner do whatever he or she wants. That’s not the point, but the more love that you give yourself, the more secure you’re going to feel from the inside out.
Then the little subjects, the little elements, like spending money on luxury, is going to become less important. It’s not going to be about the relationship. It’s going to be, you’re going to be together with your partner to discuss that element, and find either a balance between the two of you, or discuss it in different ways. But then, because you’re suffering on that element, when you give yourself more love towards that specific element, then you can reconnect with your partner and talk about that issue or that topic.
Another way, if it’s about deeper emotional communication, when you sit down to really connect with somebody, either a friend or a family member, then you know that if you resist and if you react in that moment, it makes you uncomfortable, or it just makes you react in ways that you’re not used to react, then obviously you need to give yourself more love on your emotions and on the emotional level. The more love that you give yourself — obviously, we all heard it before — the more love that you give yourself, the more you’ll be able to give to others.
Even pushing it a little bit further, I strongly believe that you cannot love somebody else more than you love yourself. So that’s another, one more motivational objective to really love yourself on all those little things that you resist, or that scratches the surface, and that hurts, that gets you angry, that gets you sad. When you can pinpoint them, then reverse the process, and give yourself love.
When you’re going to be full of love again, when you’re going to feel love, you’re going to feel loved, you’re going to love your partner or the person you’re in a relationship with, then that little irritating element is going to become secondary. Your priority is going to switch from being right on that element, to really reconnecting through the relationship with the person that you’re discussing, or that you’re evolving with.
This is the tip. Again, it’s not always easy to do, but it’s very simple. When you’re in a relationship with somebody, and something, an element is irritating you, it means, the message in that is, that you are not loving yourself enough on that specific element. So, when it’s blocking with a person, reverse the process. Love yourself more, and then those little irritating elements are going to become secondary, and you’re going to focus straight to the relationship.
I hope this is helpful. Again, leave a comment in what type of relationship that you think that this could be useful? A couple relationship with your partner, your kids, your family, your friends, co-workers, any type of relationship that you can think of that you could put this little trick in motion right away, then leave it in the comment, then we’ll start a discussion with that. And again, if you feel that somebody, maybe your partner, or your kids, or some family members or friends, need to hear this message, so you both talk the same language to reconnect, then share this either on social medias, or through email. All the links are at the bottom of the page.
I wish you all the best. Take good care of yourself. Give yourself more love. Feel the love, and then you can share it with everybody around you. All the best. Namaste, and see you soon.”